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How to Get through an Argument with Your Mate

Okay, so maybe that’s easier said than done. Each of us reacts to anger in our own, unique way. Some people can let the little things go, while others get lost in their emotions, seeing only red, and often acting unreasonable.

First, it’s hard, but try to understand what is making you unhappy, so that you can have a rational, adult discussion with your mate. Even simply reflecting before you respond shows a great deal of respect.

Then, ask yourself how severe your problem is. Was it unforgivable, or was it something minor than you can let go? If it’s the latter, try letting your guard down. In a battle, someone has to back down; it doesn’t work well if both parties are overly combative. If the issue isn’t that huge in the grand scheme of things, try hard to let it go.

It’s like the infamous professor story:

  • A professor picked up an empty mayonnaise jar and filled it with golf balls.
  • He asked the students if the jar was full. They said that it was…
  • The professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
  • The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
  • He asked the students again if the jar was full. They said that it was…
  • The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. The sand filled up everything else.
  • He asked once more if the jar was full. They said that it was…
  • The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter.

Set your priorities; the rest is just sand.

(Read the full version here- http://www.biz.colostate.edu/mti/tips/pages/MayonnaiseJarandTwo-Beers.aspx)